Little Struggles Within…..

It’s like I am feeling annoyed of myself. Overweight stuffs hurting my back. I am conscious about these things happening within me… 

You know that feeling you want to say GOODBYE to everything? Like the past. I don’t want to dwell on it. If possible, I want to delete all the memories in the past especially the bad ones. But hey I am not asking to be amnesiac, it’s just as much as possible I want to be at least almost completely honest in this abode of mine.

I know I am OC, like I want to make things straight and unstained. You get what I mean? I always wanted to have a fresh start, all over again. I am so pissed off with all the mistakes, nuisance and over-exposures in my life. They’re getting beyond my nerves. I want to forget people who hurt me, things/situations which keep on punching my thoughts and ALL.

Well, I know the past is the reason who we are at the moment and I thank that. But I just want to be completely renewed. You know, something that will put me to rest. Even this post is totally absurd, I am talking with no sense of direction here. I am contented with what I have, to be honest, I really do, BUT I just want to be somehow opposite of what I had become before. That’s all.

And these feelings I am sharing to you know are the reasons why …. I avoided some people, I chose to decline offers, I aimed at establishing a low-profile and recently, I deactivated my 2 accounts on Facebook (while still completely existing in my so-called IdleAccount; still on FB but again, so lame and idle)

Sorry, I am having these absurd thoughts since the past months, weeks and days. I just need some enough air to breathe and space to spread my wings.

*slurp* *slurp*

Dear Lord,

I am contented and I have no regrets. Just let me choose another path. Send me some positive vibes 🙂 I love You always.

Your child ❤

Image

 

My over-stressed look.

 

WHERE’S INFINITY???????? 

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The Change I Get

Aside

Hi, this post is actually my first mobile blogging and I get to excite my nerves because you know me, my ideas don’t just sit around the corner and wonder.. err.. They upsurge to be shared! And mobile blogging is really convenient because like for this moment, thoughts just run down though I’m already in bed (and definitely tired) and I get to post this.

So much for that! I want to speak about “change” now… Well, I’ve been speaking about that certain word all the time and it means for me in three words: (1) open-mindedness (2) liberalism (3) adventure AND nothing’s gonna hold me back! This opening of the school year and btw, the end of summer, I want to reinvent myself by first and foremost be a low-profile college girl. Not inasmuch as I want to change every bit but I want to be more academic-oriented and less in extra-curricular activities; except that I am still into my tutorial jobs whether online, private or both and my sidelines (Buy & Sell Pre-loved clothes/Land Deal). Coming up with this resolution was REALLY REALLY HARD to consider that I am an active student ever since at being the leader all the time became my habit, my agendum and my passion. But above all, my family is my FIRST priority and this time, I want to help a lot in doing things that will suffice my family’s needs which include my effort to assist our business (little sari-sari store) and chores at home. After all, these are the LEAST things I can do in a sense of payback to my parents while I am still studying. Further, I also feel the need to be someone new in the eyes of the many because I want to lessen the guilt I have because giving too much time serving my organizations made me happy of course but less than that, made me guilty because I sacrificed my family and mama and papa’s getting old, I want to assist them as much as I can. But mostly, I’d get to relax my mind by thinking that I’ll never stop learning and exploring. Leaving the university limelight, I know and believe that this decision is good because Almighty God has guided me to clear my cloudy thoughts. To end, I may take other route and perhaps I’d only take a train rather than an airplane, at least if I may not see the world in a skyscraper view, at least, I’d see the luscious green fields of the countryside. 🙂

P.S. I’ll reduce the romance section in my story of which I’ll eliminate some, entertain a few ones and perhaps, just throw them all in a non-recyclable bin! Slow the fast life, forget the pain and laugh out loud! Enough that I am stupid. I won’t dwell anymore.